Mark’s Musings – December 28, 2016

Mark Fortune

I hope you had a very Merry Christmas, enjoyed lots of time with your family and made some cherished memories.

It’s hard not to think of that fair city to the north at Christmas time. After all, it’s where they filmed perhaps one of the greatest movies of all time, “A Christmas Story”. And as we all know this year, its home to the world champion Cleveland Cavaliers, the one good hit and without a rain delay almost world champion Cleveland Indians. The Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame is there, lots of good restaurants, sights to see and the beloved Cleveland Browns.

This between the Christmas and New Year’s holiday column is not meant to make you gag on your eggnog. We wrote about eggnog last week. Nor is it meant to downplay fans of other teams – the Steelers come to mind as do the Bengals. When you see people out and about in our community, various sports teams are represented on jackets, shirts, caps and the like.

But it would be remiss of me to not put in a few sentences – maybe even paragraphs – about the football team by the lake. Of course, I refer to our Cleveland Browns. Quite possibly, and quite probably, they are now 0-15 as you read this and preparing for the final game of the season against the arch rival Steelers. This is how I see it.

‘Twas the week after Christmas and not a Browns fan was stirring, for the players were all fast asleep on the field and the team was asked to write “a theme”.

“What I want for my team next year” was the assigned topic, to the tune of the “The Twelve Days of Christmas”. Of course. What else would it be? Let’s just make sure we ask for the present that we really want – not tinker toys.

Tackle Joe Thomas, going to his 10th Pro-Bowl, gets the A+++++++++ while a few other players that will remain unmentioned get a big fat “F”. Others earn the coveted C++++++++++ but no comments from the teacher like “You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out.”

For season ticket holders a tapestry of profanity about the 2016 season is floating over Lake Erie and even the smell of tapioca cannot diminish the stench of what could be a 0-16 season.

And except for a few members of the Browns team that have earned the Honors and Benefits that accompany the prestigious membership in the Little Orphan Annie Secret Circle (Pro Bowl) most members of this team have their tongue stuck to the flagpole of mediocrity or worse.

The Browns need a player that can be placed right in the middle of the front room window and doesn’t break. I think all of the glue has been used up this season.

Unfortunately in the NFL lying there like a slug only costs you another loss. Maybe what we need is the Swede to open up some holes on the O line and everyone else “eats the opposition like a little piggy”.

What would A Major Award look like this year? Just one win baby, just one win. And against the Steelers? I Triple Dog Dare you Browns!

Category: Mark's Musings, Opinion, Uncategorized